Obstacles
I can’t remember why I stopped posting blogs. I don’t know if I got too busy or just disinterested. This year has been one of so many changes for me, none seemingly for the better. Perhaps I will look back on this time and see that the struggles I went through were necessary. For now it seems as though there are only obstacles in my way, most of which I created for myself.
From June through October I drank. My last binge set into motion a series of events which have left serious consequences. I have not had a drink in almost a month, nor have I felt the desire to numb this crisis away with alcohol or drugs. This is always the case for me, when I decide I am going to be sober. My desire to drink is removed. The danger for me lies in not following through; I do not maintain my spiritual condition. I lack discipline.
Discipline of an unwanted variety will soon be given to me, to uphold or suffer a set of even more serious consequences. I know that correctional, punitive discipline will not keep me sober. Only an honest, willing effort on my part to abandon myself to what my experience shows to be a solution will keep me from dying a spiritual death by drinking.
Rhonda, for what its worth, I am for you. I have enjoyed your writing and your presence, and hunger to see your personal mythology unfold. If you desire to remain in conact, please email me.
And that should read, “remain in contact.”