Building up what has been torn down…

To maintain one’s character is easier than to rebuild it. I don’t say that from experience, they are someone’s wise words, someone I cannot give proper credit to for lack of good memory. I do not have the experience because I cannot say I have ever had good character to maintain. I have spent 41 years tearing down my character. It’s time to go about building it before there is something to maintain. Perhaps I had character as a child, perhaps it is something we are all born with. Does innocence equal character? Do we begin to then tear this quality to pieces or, conversely, build upon it as we become adults and either give in to the influence of maturity or stand up for what is right, do what is honorable?

What I do know is this: I have been handed a kit of spiritual tools and I have been given instructions. I know how to use the tools and who to go to for help. It is up to me to take the action necessary to become spiritually fit, to build this character, to do what is honorable. No amount of writing about this process is any substitute for action. I must surrender myself to God (action,) get to causes and conditions (action,) humbly ask him to remove all these defects of character (action,) clean up my side of the street (more action,) and continue to take these steps in my daily life (still more action.) I must go to Him every day for guidance and I must share my experience with others.

No, I’m not flying high on a spiritual bubble right now but I have had a spiritual awakening, even as a result of the painful experience of the last couple of days (self induced, oh yes.) Growth for me is never in the form of comfort. Oh, if only it were. Doors have closed. What’s behind the ones waiting to open? Only He knows. Let me put away my expectations and not conditionalize my happiness for once. For once. Just once.

Serenity?

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