I can’t remember why I stopped posting blogs. I don’t know if I got too busy or just disinterested. This year has been one of so many changes for me, none seemingly for the better. Perhaps I will look back on this time and see that the struggles I went through were necessary. For now it seems as though there are only obstacles in my way, most of which I created for myself.
From June through October I drank. My last binge set into motion a series of events which have left serious consequences. I have not had a drink in almost a month, nor have I felt the desire to numb this crisis away with alcohol or drugs. This is always the case for me, when I decide I am going to be sober. My desire to drink is removed. The danger for me lies in not following through; I do not maintain my spiritual condition. I lack discipline.
Discipline of an unwanted variety will soon be given to me, to uphold or suffer a set of even more serious consequences. I know that correctional, punitive discipline will not keep me sober. Only an honest, willing effort on my part to abandon myself to what my experience shows to be a solution will keep me from dying a spiritual death by drinking.